World`s Worst Gardener
I started this blog not because I`m a great gardener, but simply because I can`t garden, I kill everything that goes in my garden, even the plants in my house. The only thing I do rather well is to grow weeds, then I`m the world`s very best.
posted by dex at
9:12 am
13 Comments:
Well there you are G...at least you can grow weeds...so first lesson is that your groundsoil is NOT sterile..ok? next find out what the names are..a weed that looks like a Horses' tail is called just that and you keep pulling that little blighter up every time you see it...another one is like a Dandelion.. now with this one you need to get the whole plant (tap root especially)or you may as well not bother..see what I mean? first find out what kind of soil you have ..my guess is acid at the back in your case...see what next door can grow that gives you an idea ...ask me any questions you come across and I will help you all I can..good luck..we'll make a Gardener out of you yet!...
By
Anonymous, at 6:56 pm
Well there you are G...at least you can grow weeds...so first lesson is that your groundsoil is NOT sterile..ok? next find out what the names are..a weed that looks like a Horses' tail is called just that and you keep pulling that little blighter up every time you see it...another one is like a Dandelion.. now with this one you need to get the whole plant (tap root especially)or you may as well not bother..see what I mean? first find out what kind of soil you have ..my guess is acid at the back in your case...see what next door can grow that gives you an idea ...ask me any questions you come across and I will help you all I can..good luck..we'll make a Gardener out of you yet!...
By
Anonymous, at 6:56 pm
Thanks for those suggestions Norma, looking forward to my `education.`
By
dex, at 7:33 pm
For the next lesson,Geoff...LAWNS..yes,those brown things that should be GREEN...do not mow whilst the hot weather is lasting ooops forgot you know about lawns...sorry...ermm will eait until the rain comes, ok? I like this Blog 'cos nobody interrupts me hahaha
By
Anonymous, at 6:47 pm
Oh dear...make that WAIT :o)
By
Anonymous, at 6:48 pm
NOW ya tell me, just after I went and cut my brown grass along with a load of daisies. I mustn`t cut whilst it`s hot, I mustn`t cut whilst it`s hot, I musn`t cut.....
By
dex, at 11:25 pm
Dex..a true Gardener gets to know when to cut and when NOT to cut..now you have learned lesson number two..
By
Anonymous, at 6:50 pm
By the way,Dex...you didn't tell us what house plants you,ve tried to grow...
By
Anonymous, at 6:28 pm
Hmm, well it`s so long since I tried that I`ve forgotten what plants I had. Green eventually turned to brown from memory.
By
dex, at 8:01 pm
Okay well as you like to make things hard for me I will have to guess what you are doing wrong! most houseplants DO NO LIKE THE HOT ATMOSPHERE ..every plant needs air (yes they breathe like we do) ..next they don't like to stand with their feet in water all day (would you?)..then they don't like to be 'overwatered' ..need a feed once a week...they hate to stand in the window in the full glare of the sun...they HATE a draft ...am I getting through? last but bt no means least ..they love a cheery "Good morning" when you get up...:o)what did you say,Dex? you wont' bother? hahaha
By
Anonymous, at 2:01 pm
Well, if I HAVE to do a Prince Charles and talk to the plants I suppose I could give it a try. Thing is I do have TV on so they could always listen to that, or is it the `personal touch` they crave?
By
dex, at 10:08 am
No,Dex,it's the warmth of your (breath) 'Good Morning' that they like..get really close when you say it...hahahahaha can I come round and watch? (cough,cough) sorry..am being serious here but I can imagine you with pursed lips et al ......
By
Anonymous, at 11:08 am
Next you`ll be wanting me to sing to them - a SURE killer!!
By
dex, at 12:15 pm
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